reposts, vol 8

I've had a bad couple of weeks, boys and girls.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, at least nominally. There's candy, which appeals to my inner (and outer) fatty. There's also a glut of horror films on television, which appeals to my geeky nature. The pale girls who cover up with black sweatshirts (featuring album art from some godawful band, of course) generally dress slutty, which is always nice. Of course, there's some bad stuff. Children knocking on my door. The History Channel only showing crap about the noble sasquatch. The 250 Joker costumes; some well done, some lazy, all miserably uncreative. (Unless you are willing to commit yourself to a self-given Glasgow smile, I will tackle you and force sleeping pills down your throat.) This Halloween, I was stuck in Bayard, visiting the family, with nary a young, pale, barely-dressed 20-something woman to be found. There were no horror films of any note on television. I somehow still managed to see a douchebag dressed like the Joker. It was pretty miserable, and that's absent the sick grandmother, flu, and possible torn ligament in my foot.

This year, on paper, has been pretty good for John L. I got my first job, later than most (but fuck you), and I was a distinguished goddamn sandwich artist. For quite possibly the first time in my adult life, I accomplished something I set out to do. That is to say, my Glorious One-Year Plan (that's a history joke, kids) to Get the Fuck Out of Bayard. I earned the money, made the move, and have thus far managed not to murder my roommate. But really, how much better off am I? I'm still a fuckup, still behind my peers, still a mostly friendless loser. It's not a matter of needing to get out there. Social anxiety aside, I'm a fairly charming and friendly guy when I want to be. The problem is this: I fucking hate people. They're loud and stupid. I'm sort of an arrogant prick, no doubt, but I defy you, my reader, to say without a hint of irony that people aren't annoying as hell. There are of course certain people I like. Odds are if you're reading this, I don't include you in my hate trip, even if you happen to be loud and/or stupid.