Reposts, vol 6

In The Truth: Part I, we covered the greatest problem facing America's youth, all in a single sentence. This time, we're going to cover a much broader range of topics.

I've found that I'm particularly prone to limerence, when I become infatuated with somebody. Limerence is a particular type of infatuation with a few unique markers. The primary marker is intrusive thoughts of the limerent subject. That is to say, thoughts of them pop in randomly during the day. It's fine if thinking of them isn't depressing, which is rare. Another marker is an unusual emphasis in your mind on what your crush thinks of you. Now, I generally don't give a shit what people think of me, so when I have an actual connection to somebody, say, every couple of years, it's rather disconcerting to suddenly want to/need to watch my mannerisms, appearance, and words. I just think that things would be so much easier if I were able to base my relationships on a comfortable antipathy, instead of just totally falling for a woman every couple of years.

I know only 2-3 people read this, but I'm totes bored. In recognition of the name of this blog, anybody who asks me a question as a comment to this blog will get a completely honest and straightforward answer in a private message.

"I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool."
"That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool."
-Ghost World

"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people."
-Doctor Who - "Blink"

"But I tried, didn't I? Goddamnit, at least I did that."
-Randle Patrick McMurphy - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

"You can sleep here if you want but it would only be sleeping, Harry... if that's gonna frustrate you."
"...Let's see."
-Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

"You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you."
"Shut up and deal."
-The Apartment

Between 3:00 and 5:00 am, I am at my most efficient. Most of my work gets done in these hours. I only ever clean my dorm room during this period. Most of the time, that's laundry time too. I can't say that I think more clearly, because I really don't. As I type this I feel muddled and slow. If anything, I'm only still awake because I have both a blog and a ton of laundry to finish. I am far more of a realist in these active hours. Much more practical, nothing like my usual quixotic if misanthropic self. I wonder if these are the hours in which my grown-up side comes out. I do my work, I don't daydream, and I can suck up my anger/whatever. It's pretty horrific, but I guess it has to happen to all of us sometime.

I don't think it's any secret that people will idealize those they're infatuated with. Bad habits, personality flaws, and such become endearing. Positive attributes are enhanced in the mind of the pursuer. Often, too, attributes are added which simply aren't there. Example: a girl once compared me to Mr. Darcy, from Pride and Prejudice. I'm manly, so I didn't know what the hell she meant. My contacts in the gay community told me that Mr. Darcy is the "intellectual's wet dream". Darcy is a guy who is commonly thought to be an arrogant prick, but who is in fact like, so totally perfect. The Edward Cullen of Victorian chick-lit. Naturally, it's the same woman who later told me I reminded her of a Byronic hero (she was well read, which is hot, but seriously). This is maybe closer, but still pretty far off. A Byronic hero is, essentially, a guy who actually is a prick, but is so interesting that he makes up for it. She had the first part right. A Byronic hero is something all smart, arrogant, but socially awkward men wish they were. I'm sure men like that exist, but I'm sure not one of them. One way or another, we all find ways to date our perfect person, even if it's a self-delusion. For my part, I tend to think women are so very much smarter than they are, as justification for wanting to have sex with them. I can only think of one, maybe two women I've been attracted to who actually were as smart as I told myself they were at the time of attraction. This whole self-delusion thing has worked to continue the species, and as the bottom of the barrel, I can't complain too much. It's just something to think about.

Here's what bothers me. Here's what keeps me up. Just how long do I have?